have you ever played harvest moon? or stardew valley or story of seasons? if so, do you know what is the product when egg is processed? MAYO!!!! we all get mayonnaise as a product that can be sold with higher value than ordinary egg.
Few days a go i made my homemade mayonnaise hurrah. another condiments added to the table. i decided to make mayonnaise because i always read people claiming the one sold on the shelves at the supermarket doesnt taste anywhere close to real mayo and a lot of those that have tasted homemade mayonnaise claim to never buy the commercial mayo anymore. these got me curious about the taste of homemade mayo.
the ingredients to make mayo is so simple actually. you just need egg, oil, and vinegar to be able to make basic mayonnaise. anyway, i used:
4 egg yolk
a splash of vinegar probably 1 tbsp
a squeeze of half lemon
a bit of mustard around 2 tsp i guess
originally i was thinking of adding some chili flakes and other stuffs to make the mayonnaise spicier and more flavourful but decided not to since this is my frist time making mayo. lets try the simple taste first.
even though the ingredients are simple the process to make it is not that simple so basically i have to separate the egg yolk from the white egg. success at my first try. and then i need to beat the egg yolk with the mustard while i slowly trickle down the oil bit by bit. too much oil at once will separate them and it will not become mayo. this thing is easy if i use a mixer as i can just control pouring the oil while watching the egg get beaten by the mixer but i wanted to try beating using my own hand and it makes it harder not to mention that my hand get tired after a while and i ran out of patience. so ignoring the instruction i tried to pour a lot of oil at once and it turn out to be just oil liquid.and not forming into mayo. i originally used only 2 egg yolks and after screwing this part i added 1 more eggyolk hoping it can turn into mayo but it didnt. running out of options i use one more eggyolk into a fresh bowl and trickle down the oil mixture back to it and beat it. this time im being really patient as i trickle the oil mixture to the last drop. luckily they all turn into mayonnaise yeayyy... when done correctly the the egg turns into thick consistency with the oil instead of fluidy. if your mixture is in fluid state youre adding too much oil in one go. then adding a bit of vinegar and lemon juice gives the soury taste and blanches the colour of the mayonnaise from yellow to light yellow. i stop beating when im satisfied with the mayo. yeay. close call to failure. phew.
oh yeah the tase is definitely different though compared to the commercial mayo. mine is sharper probably due to the mustard that i add. cant really describe how differetn they are though.
physical violence on egg is encouraged
my homemade mayo!!!!
next i have the leftover of the egg white which i can use for something else and i decided to make meringue. since im tired from beating the shit out of the mayo i decided to use my mixer to make meringue. yes the egg white need to beaten half dead before you can make it into meringue. well meringue is quite easy to make. beat the egg white while adding lots of sugar and a bit of vanilla extract and you get it. it is not as simple as that mind you. firstly, need to ensure theres no fat/oil at all, so clean the equipment by wping them with vinegar and make sure no egg yolk is mixed into the egg white.the you beat the egg while adding other stuff. the thing is if you dont beat it enough it wont get firm enough to form a soft peak but if you beat it too much it become foamy. me not knowing that ended up beating it too much. so when i bake meringue it can hold its shape but it never get hard even if i bake it until it start to become brownish it is still soft. the meringue is a failure..... too bad
anyway since it has become foamy, it feels like im eating cotton candy or sweet bubble. it melts in your mouth straight away. still tastes good anyway. that night i had a sugar rush from eating all the failed meringues.
guess what? i hit another milestone in my culinary adventure!!! i manage to make cheese. horayyyyyyy. Ughh I'm so happy that I'm awed with myself.
okay so i made mapo tofu, seafood chowder, and been drinking gallons of milk and i don't have anything in mind on what to cook so why not i give it a go with my cheese project even though i don't have enough equipment as of yet. let's see what i lack is a cheese cloth, and cooking thermometer. they're handy if available but doesn't mean that i cant make it without them so JUST DO IT!!!!
firstly i buy moomoo more than the usual amount. usual amount for drinking and a part for cheese making project. since it is my first try i only use 1 bag of milk around 700 ml. heat up the milk and i added the lime juice using the lime from my backyard. don't remember whether i should add the lime juice before or after boiling so i just add it before boiling. fyi, any acidic thing can be used e.g lemon juice, vinegar, and there is also rennet, an enzyme from cow's stomach that can be used to make cheese without making the milk acidic but since rennet usage is not halal i cant use rennet. there's supposed to be a plant based rennet but just couldn't bother to get my hand on it as I'm pretty sure it is very hard to get it in a small place like mine.
so acid added, and heated it and i left it to cool down to see if the milk curdle after that but after 30 minutes to my disappointment, it stayed as milk. pssshhh i tried to heat it one more time and after 30 minutes of cooling down it was still the same. so i added a bit of vinegar during my third attempt to heat it up but it still remain the same. i was going to give up and just drink up the soured milk (lol) when i ask google what went wrong during the whole process and voila.... i didn't heat the milk enough. it didn't get to boiling level to curdle up. people said that you need to boil it as in have the dome thingy formed during the milk boiling... you know the blub blub thing foaming when it is boiled. so max the heat on the stove i did and within seconds the milk curdle up as it was boiling leaving clearer fluid bubbling. i was so overjoyed seeing that happening.
then i poured the milk through a cloth filter separating the curd from the fluid. I'm supposed to use cheese cloth but since i don't have any, the penapis teh worked fine and besides, the amount of cheese I was making is small anyway. so when cheese curdle it leaves behind fluid called whey. this byproduct of cheese making contains all the protein in the milk where as cheese contains all the fat.
so don't throw it away down the drain. it will be a big waste. oh yeah after separating the curd from the fluid, i have the cheese!!!! this cheese is called paneer. its common ingredient in Indian cooking and also the mist basic form of cheese. i think westerners call it cottage cheese but I'm not really sure.
heating up the milk!!! blub blub blub
right when the milk boil it curdle straight away as i already added the acids earlier.
a sight of success.
and here's the paneer after separating it from the whey.
overall, success!!!! yeay. i tried to make the paneer into mozzarella by microwaving it but it didn't get to be mozzarella. maybe it was because i use too much acid. oh well, ill settle with paneer for now hueheuheuhue. the taste have slight lime-y taste and smell because i didn't bother to rinse the cheese with cold water after separating it from the whey. still good anyway. i just have to compress the cheese to make it into a block of paneer but think its fine like this. now my future aim for cheese making skill is to make it into high level where i can make certain cheese like mozzarella, cheddar, or parmesan. i know it is a very long way for me to be able to make parmesan on my own because of the steps needed to make it and the amount of time it takes to produce it.
also i need to figure out what to do with the whey every time i make cheese. maybe ill just gulp it down like protein shake. after all it is the same thing that those gym rats have been consuming.
so 2 days ago my mapo tofu plan was scratched out because of the assam pedas kari kepala salmon and i decided to make the chili oil but on the next day the opportunity come as there were only little left of the curry so i decided to go into the kitchen and cook before my parents start cooking anything.
so here are the ingredients that i used...
silken tofu 1 block
ginger 1 thumb size minced
garlic 5 cloves minced
leek 1 stalk minced leafy part separated
ground beef 400g
vegetable oil roughly 3 tbsp i guess
black bean 2 tbsp minced and pressed
doubanjiang(chili bean paste) 2.5 tbsp
chicken stock 1 litre
chili powder 2 tbsp roughly.. i just pour it to my heart content
chili oil that i made 2 tbsp
sesame oil 2 tsp roughly
sugar 2 tbsp
soy sauce a splash of it. maybe 1 tbsp
i didnt use:
- sichuan peppercorn because i cant find it in the mall or i simply dont look for it hard enough. also my family cant really handle spicy food whats more to eat this numbing hot peppercorn. ill add this maybe some other time when im cooking for myself
- starch to thicken the dish simply because i forgot.
- king oyster mushroom. i want to use this ingredient because it gives awesome texture when youre chewing just like during my seafood chowder. i didnt use it because i just forgot to buy it.
so yeah there are several chinese ingredients needed that required me to look for it at several places which is the reason why i never get to make mapo tofu before this. found the doubanjiang at mydin few days ago and that was the impetus to lets make mapo tofu haha. i cant find fermented black bean so i just used the black bean from canned fried dace with black bean. still good though haha. im supposed to use spring onion but the one sold at the market doesnt look fresh at all so i decided to use leek instead. leek always taste better than spring onion anyway even raw. too bad leeks sold in malaysia are small. the girth is half of the leeks i use in ireland. so disappointed. size matters guys. lol this sounds so wrong. im into straight leek btw to those thinking i like the bent one right now. oh yeah the amount of ground beef im using is way more than im supposed to simply because ive stocked up on beef so why not hehehe. also the amount of tofu i used is so small compared to the rest of the ingredients that im supposed to use 2 or 3 blocks of tofu. oh welli know were eating it with rice so thats why i dont bother to add more tofu
the cooking is pretty much straight forward and easy once you prepared every ingredient in the required state. here's the video of the mapo tofu i learnt from. he also provided the recipe to details, so should be good to those interested in making one
heres the finished product used the leafy part of the leeks to garnish and add more during the chowtime. so the result was a huge success. it has the mapo tofu taste. its salty thanks to the doubanjiang and blackbean. spicy but very mild that my family can enjoy it too. so yeayyyy. so good finished whole big bowl in a day and the curry was left untouched.
so what can be improved for this cooking is the usage of frozen beef. my dad said the frozen beef doesnt give any flavours. i should get fresh beef and mince it myself or use fresh daging tetel as it produce more oil and flavours. also sichuan peppercorn should be added next time. need that damn spicy taste but addicting. oh yeah the tofu can be bought fresh from the wet market instead of the packed one from the mall as the fresh one still has the bean smell and it tastes better
yeap another post about food because thats what ive been actively doing lately.
i decided to make mapo tofu as i stumbled upon doubanjiang (bean chilli paste) in market after a long time searching for it. after psyching myself up to cook it i went to the kitchen only to find a big pot of assam pedas kari kepala ikan salmon ready to be served. huh. im not gonna contest my dish with this dish. so scratch the plan and ill cook it sometimes later. anyway, i find it a good timing to make mapo tofu right now because ramly minced beef is on promotion at Mydin. RM15/KG for beef is a very good deal. normal price for beef should be around RM29/KG. go get your meat folks.
anyway, here i was in the kitchen with no mapo tofu to make, I decided to make hot chilli oil as it is one of the ingredients needed to make mapo tofu.it's really easy to make. all i need are
dried chilli pepper blended to flakes/powder (i have this in abundant since i use it as condiment)
oil (also abundant because who doesnt have oil in the kitchen?)
salt (pshhh i can get this from my tears)
black pepper (also optional but i use it just to give some heat to the body)
sesame oil (again optional)
so yeah only 3 ingredients needed to make it actually and theyre too easy to find here in Malaysia.
ratio of oil to the chilli powder is 4 to 1. every cup of chilli powder i use ill add 4 cup of oil and for my first try i used half cup of chilli and 2 cups of oil. the other ingredients... 1/2 tsp of salt, a genggam of peanut and 1.5 tsp of grounded black pepper (well i just put them according to my liking)
so what i did is heat the oil in pan, wait until i see tiny smoke to come out, put the flame out and pour in all the mixed dry ingredients and stir. voila done. i just wait for the oil to cool down before pouring into a container and add a splash of sesame oil for the fragrance and i can enjoy it with any dish.
here's the video of where i learn about this thing.
my own hot chilli oil
yeay so new condiment to be used while eating. i tested it with bubur lambuk that i got and it is good. it has the roasted peanut smell while giving hot tingling feel on your lips and tongue from the chilli and at the same time making your body a bit heaty thanks to the blackpepper. i wish i have the sichuan peppercorn to make it numbing hot. oh well, this is good enough for now. another ingredient secured for mapo tofu!!!
also i might make lasagna or pasta dishes any of these days with the stocked minced beef i bought. the problem is tomato is a bit expensive right now and it is widely used in pasta dishes. damn it. i thought it is supposed to be cheap right now because it is a summer fruit. Malaysia is always summer what... another thing to be home grown...tomato
i decided to hold on my cheese making adventure since i dont have cheese cloth and thermometer for cooking but the real reason is that i still have my block of cheddar cheese that im slowly consuming. no point having too much cheese when my cheese consumption is not high. it will only lead to moldy cheese.
so instead of making cheese i decided to make seafood chowder for my next culinary adventure. seafood chowder is basically seafood soup but the soup is very creamy. ive been planning to make one for a long time already since i have mussels and cream in the fridge idling.
it started off with me going to mydin buying fish for the first time on my own. i dont really care bout fish before so never buy it.so here i have a variety of fishes in wet area and which one should i choose. my preference would be fish with big bones only so terubok is definitely a no go. it must be big too since small fishes will only make my work harder. in the end i decided to pick tongkol (mackerel tuna) because its size is medium and there are some of the fishes that doesnt have red eyes. most of the big fishes have red eyes already indicating they're not fresh anymore.
so here are the ingredients i used to make my seafood chowder.
1 big onion diced
2 carrots diced
2 celery sticks diced
turkey roll (as a substitute for bacon because haraammm)
butter (i dont know how much im supposed to use. just go with instinct)
chicken stock (since my house never have any fish stock)
water 1 lL (happen to know because a measuring jug just appear nearby when i needed to use water)
3 oyster mushrooms (why not. its been sitting in the fridge begging to be cooked)
2 poetaytoes cubed
1 pack of mussels (always better to use fresh one)
2 salmon slices cut to small chunks.
1 whole tongkol
cooking cream (also pour as much as i like until i start thinking whether i poured too much or not)
black pepper (a splash of saltbae style)
so yeah prepping food always takes time. i did my food preparation 30 min before breaking fast. peel chop dice the first 3 veges and then i move on to fillet a tongkol. i was a bit worried since i dont really know the bone structure of tongkol but it turned out fine . managed to fillet it like a pro.....ish. also removed the bones from my salmon slices with knife and tweezers. by the time i finish cutting my fishes into small chunks it was already time to break fast so pause and go to have dinner.
then i continue with the cooking part after finishing my dinner. cut the turkey roll into small pieces. i just use several slices according to my liking. melt the butter in the pot and toss the turkey roll in. then toss in the diced onion and sautee (tumis) for a bit. after that i add the celery and carrots and give it a quick stir. any free moments i used to peel and chop the potatoes into small cubes. oh yeah i also added some rosemary and thyme just for the sake of using them. after that i added the potatoes, stir a bit and and add water with chicken stock.cover the pot and bring it to a boil to cook the potatoes. and then it's already time for me to go to terawih. since im supposed to let it simmer when the water is boiling i just turn off the heat added the cream, mussels, and fishes and just cover the pot and leave for terawih with my hand still smelling fish. im just using the heat from the soup itself to cook the fish. cant risk leaving the stove on for an hour.
did a bit of taste test before going to terawih and it was good. anyway that was a mistake because i cant focus in terawih and i drooled during the prayer hahahaha. so after i came back i just reheat the pot again a bit and then time to chow down. uhhhhh the taste of seafood chowder... so rich and creamy and full of seafood goodness *kreygasm
I could make the chowder thicker and creamier for improvement. also move variety of seafood can be added. nevertheless, got approval from my parents haha. overall, success!!!
chunks of tongkol and salmon deboned
all the vegetables swimming merrily
added the cream and seafood right before going to terawih
this is the only pics i get since most of the time my hands are dirty and wet. also learnt the basic from this video.
Dan (ingatlah) ketika suatu umat di antara mereka berkata, "Mengapa kamu menasihati kaum yang akan dibinasakan atau diazab Allah dengna azab yang sangat keras?" Mereka menjawab, "Agar kami mempunyai alasan (lepas tanggung jawab) kepada Tuhanmu, dan agar mereka bertakwa."
my culinary adventure is good right now. manage to get my hand on freshhhh milk. this is not the fresh milk from mall that is already bottled. this is fresh from cow's udder. cret cret cret moomoo.
initially I went to the house where i used to buy the milk from but the house was empty and there was no animal at all. the lady next door said that the owner died already so she gave us a new location where i can buy fresh milk. she herself has goat milk but she doesnt sell it. it's for personal usage. i'd have bought from her if she sell some.
anyway off i went to the new house and buy a pack of milk for RM5. well the price is a bit cheaper compared to the fresh milk in market. RM6.66 for a litre instead of RM7.50 per litre. not bad and the milk is fresh and creamier. you can even smell the cow from the milk lol. (i know lots of people cant stand this smell)
the result was satisfying. the milk looks clean and i finish it in one night. nevertheless, the taste of the milk is quite thin. it is not as thick compared to the milk that i buy from the old place. hopefully it's just the cow having less fat in the milk and not them adding water into the milk. after all, i'm not a milk expert to be able to distinguish them. anyway, i can enjoy myself drinking fresh milk at a cheaper rate and tastier hehehehe.
oh btw, since i can get my fresh milk supply, let's start with cheese making project. my aim is to make my own mozarella (if that's possible) so that i can enjoy the fresh mozarella at low cost. there's no way for me to be able to get fresh mozarella here in Malaysia. anyway, first step is to make paneer. indian cooking should come up after that ^^
you know when we talk about marriage, the issue on the qualities of the partner always come up. is the partner good physically? what about personality? and mentality? of course everybody want to get the best partner if one can but we're human. we're never meant to be perfect. there will always be imperfection in human and we have to suck it up and deal with it.
is it common for you to hear people say one will change the bad habits/attitudes after marriage or one will change the partner to be a better person after marriage? well it is common for me and though it is possible for those things to happen but we have to remember people dont change that easily and most of the time youre stuck with that bad qualities for the rest of your life or everything spirals down and your marriage ends up with divorce.
tension will rise quickly in a relationship where one treat the relationship as a repairing project. constantly trying to improve and making the partner better which is not much different from a control type relationship.
tired of this changing because of partner or marriage we have the ideology of accepting a person as who you are. love the person as a whole including the imperfections. that way we can avoid stressful relationship and be content with each other. win win situation. even though it sounds nice but in reality how long can one stand with the negative qualities of the partner? how many negative qualities can one accept before saying thats enough. this usually happens to those getting tied during the lovey dovey period where everything is wonderful. well, love is blind and it blinds you. when the love feeling subsided then reality hits you.
as for me i dont really agree with the concept of accept me as it is. i want someone that love me for who i am and never want me to change. that statement is a no for me. why? to me that is just an excuse. i found the term accepting one as who they are is always being used as an excuse to not move forward. in other word the person is comfortable to being stagnant. not bothering to try to improve oneself or life is a big sign of not giving a shit to the people around you and it will affect the partner. as time goes things happen and people will change. if one doesnt want to be better one will definitely aiming to be worse.
i know i have my bad qualities and so does others. accepting bad qualities, give and take, and sacrifices are just parts and parcels or being in relationship but i wont accept someone whose not willing to improve oneself just because it's one's identity. change takes time and so it is understood that you dont expect people to turn into someone else over a night but for someone that doesnt even bother to improve oneself, there's no salvation for that person and that person wont be able to help me improve myself too
my friend once said that if he were given a choice whether to be able to get a blowjob for life or eat cheese all life he would definitely take the cheese. even though he suffer massive diarrhoea after consuming cheese due to lactose intolerance, he will still eat it. NO REGRETS!!!!
that shows how tasty it is. well in my case dairy products. damn they taste so good. i dont have problem getting all dairy products when i was living in europe but man it is so expensive here in malaysia as dairy product consumption is not that popular here so it is a bit expensive. example
fresh milk 1L Msia - RM 7, eire - eu 1
see even if you convert it to same currency it is still expensive in msia and not to mention the taste is better in eire.
mozarella cheese msia - RM 17, eire - 50 cents
you see the massive gap in price here? 15 ringgit difference. and the cheese sold are fresh cheese. the taste is far superior compared to dry mozarella cheese in msia.
so when i come back to msia bringing this foreign habit with me it costs me a lot. currently i can consume 1L of fresh milk a day. and that's 7 ringgit a day, totaled up to around RM 210 a month. its like i have the smoking habit but less costly and not producing smoke.
in my culinary adventure, i decided to make cheese on my own as the one sold are so expensive. even with that idea i find it hard to make that thing as whenever i buy milk i can quickly consume it and finish the milk. oh well i should go buy fresh milk straight dari ladang
apparently queuing is an issue that can get lots of people in malaysia quarreling especially between the youngsters and the pakcik makcik. yeap youre thinking the right thing. i had an argument with an old fellow about queuing.
it happened when i was in a mall doing grocery shopping. got myself some cheap looking good vegetables, bagged them and went to weighing counter and the staff was not there. several people were waiting at the counter and so i waited together with them while looking at other vegetables. then the abang timbang came rushing to the counter as he realised that lots of people were waiting. seeing him i joined the queue and yes that was when this old pakcik came rushing from behind and put his stuffs on the counter in front of me.
me: pakcik. beratur.
pakcik: pakcik beratur la ni. da lama da tunggu dari tadi.
this pakcik got me like
me: pakcik tunggu tu tunggu tapi beratur la
pakcik: pakcik da beratur la ni lama tunggu dari tadi awak tu baru datang
so the argument going back and forth with me asking him to queue and him insisting that hes queuing by cutting me and then he said something like me berlagak macam supermarket ni bapak aku punya. few grumbling and then keluar awak pun sama melayu. so i said apa kene mengena dengan bangsa. then he said he is the older one and im young so i should shut up. i just said i dont care. thats why i ask him to queue.
well the arguments die as he get his items weighed and left while i sambung to abang timbang saying that orang tua biasa la x boleh kena tegur.
yeap from that incident i learnt that im still not good in debating and arguing with people. i get heated easily over simple stuff like this. i would have been able to burn other people easily if i can keep my cool. guess practice makes perfect. oh yeah i also learnt that being patient is so not enjoying while it is more fun to be rude and make fun and burn the oldman. so, be patient or just listen to the devil?
no point mentioning about the old generation stubbornness (which im already mentioning here) as the mentality aku makan garam lagi banyak apa ko taw is deeply ingrained in us which makes it very hard to change the culture.
im a right handed person but i think im actually a lefty. it's just that i was trained to use right hand in everything since i was small. so what made me realise this is that apart from my hand, all the other body parts that come in pairs are more dominant on the left side. my main eye is the left one and my left leg is a lot stronger than the right one. not to mention that i can hear better using my left ear. since ive been using my right hand all the time of course the dexterity and the strength is better compared to left hand but i realize i can jab better using my left hand and i am more comfortable using left hand as the main controller for some manual works but that doesnt mean i can use my right hand properly. its just when you just do things without thinking you automatically use the left hand. maybe its because of that my writing speed can hardly improve after all these years of writing. still the same slow and messy handwriting. i should try to write using my left hand hahha. if i can be ambidextrous that would be cool ^^
goodbye dota goodbye left for dead. thou has been good entertainment for me but alas we need to be apart.
no i dont stop playing online games because i grow up and become 'mature' or because im moving on but i stopped playing because of the slow internet connection im having in my area. any delay or lag will definitely ruin the game especially for teamwork based game. another reason is because im living with my parents. the older generation dont understand that one does not simply pause an online game. and they only have negative view on things like games. everytime i play game in front of my father he will say jangan main game banyak sangat even when im playing only twice a week. so yeah these 2 factors are big enough to stop me from playing online game. i dont mind losing games but when i have to abandon game which makes me no different than those ragequitter, that is bad. i only abandon game like 2 or 3 times during my whole few years in ireland and those were due to internet or electric disruption but when i come back to malaysia within few months i get sent to low priority as penalty for abandoning game for few times. those abandons are mostly due to internet being not stable and my parents impeccable timing to call me for reasons that took more than 10 minutes.
now i mostly play offline games or even if its online its fine for me to leave the game anytime i want. the only online game i play now is digimon master online, a mmorpg. since i play that game alone without involving other players, leaving the game anytime is fine for me the worst it can be is just my character dying from being attacked by monster and respawn back to the nearest town. might lose item or money but thats not a problem at all. internet putus? just sambung some other time then.
maybe one day when i have a good stable internet and live on my own i will start playing online game back but for now buhbye.
oh yeah back in ireland i tried streaming but never in malaysia since my upload speed is only 0.2mbps. no chance to do any streaming.
for those that enjoy manhwa the title should be familiar. it's a korean comic about an mmorpg(massive multiplayer role playing game) addict guy that gained the ability like an mmo character in real life. what a sweet thing. maybe only those that enjoy rpg understand this. i also enjoy these kind of games as it lets you explore and discover a different world while at the same time building your character to survive and complete the missions in the game. i remember i used to go for adventures during my primary school time like playing at the jkr storage site. the area is filled with tong drums and left with overgrown semak. so i go walking around the semak climbing the drums just like having adventure. looking back right now it is just a small place with nothing except drums and semak. anyway, im not that fortunate to be able to play games as much as i like. normal people see me like a gamer because i play game but the fact that the number of games ive played can be counted with hands and for someone that says he likes rpg based game to never play any of the final fantasy game... he's just a wannabe gamer. well, at least thats how i think those hardcore gamers look at me. its not easy to play game when people around have a negative view of games especially your parents. i ended up making my own board rpg game using the buku petak-petak during my primary school and i became the game master. didnt know these things exist in real life at that time until years later when i get into college and university. lol what a feat.
anyway, the bad thing about rpg game is that it requires a lot of time to play the game because youre like living in an alternate life virtually and that can lead to abandoning your real life. so what i do is i usually play my own games in real life that only i know and it is inside my head. taking life is a game literally. as such i cant deny that the real life is just like one big massive mmorpg which people from different races grow up and build their character in this world. the differences is the end of the character because we are free to do whatever we want in this world. you can be a good person or you can be a bad person you can go on adventures or you can settle down at a place and become a merchant or work to produce things or you can just be a trash character that simply exist to exist not to do anything bidding time and go offline silently too. it's all up to us. i look at the continents like different servers and stuffs like religions are like guilds where people get connected and each of them has their own rules that one has to follow. our occupation would be our class. all the errands would be like the quests as we have to grind to increase our stats to meet the requirement to go to the next level such as entering university or changing class from a student into something else like doctors or engineers. this mmo called life is so vast and free that lots of people see it as too hard and boring because you have to set your own goal and make your own storyline whereas in the game the storyline are mostly set and we just have to explore to unlock and follow the storyline. if only we can set our own goal in life then we can work to acieve the goal and at the same time enjoy what life gives to us.
yeay i am so free that i spend most of my time reading novel. managed to finish 1 whole novel series in a week and it took me only 2 days to finish my last novel. i spent whole day lying around golek-golek while reading novel from dawn to midnight. i think im gonna take a break from reading novel and do some physical activities. lol lying around too much is not good for me. anyway, yeay wish i can finish reading OHCM in just 2 days as the novel is bigger and thicker compared to that book but it took me more than 3 years to khatam it lol. too bad. oh yeah, my room was like a cafe with jazz music 24/7 as i was reading non stop though the only available drinks are 3in1 ovaltine haha. now setting up a new goal for next stuffs. ^^
since im not having a regular job and the money i get is gitu2 je. staying in kl is very costly for me. i dont really care about the expenditure as im still in holiday mode spending money as i like from what i have but if i were to really calculate and spend money wisely just from my earning without denting my bank acc even a bit i will have to live on bread and crackers only or maybe less than that. anyway, my stay in kl is coming to an end i guess depending what happen in the future. maybe i get lucky and can continue my stay here in kl... well que sera sera whatever will be, will be.
anyway, i can finally draw again using paint as the jagged lines disappear after i tick the assist mouse sensitivity in the setting. so now its up to my hand to be able to draw smoothly and beautifully though i must admit after so long it is hard to draw using mouse lol.