Monday, September 5, 2016

the bait and the predator

it's a common thing for men to look at women especially the beautiful, gorgeous, bodylicious, bootylicious, boobylicious etc whatever depends on people's fetish. some will look and avert their gaze, some will look  and continue to peek a bit, some will stare at the women, some even fantasize about them, some will make a move to flirt, get one night stand maybe, and some go to the extreme of raping them. the point is it happens.

so who's to blame? the ladies or the guys? the victims or the offenders? the baits or the predators? what wait. it's supposed to be prey not bait but that's what people are claiming as the girls are baiting men to make move on them.

when men rape women, the rapist is always guilty since he is the offender, the one making move, the one doing the harm. so the rapist should always be punished according to the law. the issue comes when the ladies are accused to be at fault too for being raped/harassed like you reap what you sow. see, in some part of the world the man can get away from punishment of raping as the lady is the one at fault. it can be due to the sexiness, behaviour, timing, or just because they're women. yes in extreme areas people always blame the victim regardless of what reason. it is unfair in this extreme cases but what about the women that wears exposing outfit and act like they're inviting the guys? is the girl at fault?  

nowadays, people say that it is in one's right to wear whatever they want and be proud of what they're doing. it is men that need to educate themselves to control their behaviour and moral. no matter what one wears or how revealing one wears, it is one's body and one can do whatever one wants with their body but not other people. so, is it unfair for the men to look at whats being shown to them? they're just appreciating the women's beauty and everybody have lust. some will look in perverted way and some even make a move on the girl because they're inviting like they're asking for it, why cant just men give it to them? when you dress like a hooker or a slut, isn't it normal for man interested in sex to come to you? don't they wear all the revealing clothes to show their assets to people around them to attract people? so don't blame other people when they're attracted to you when you in the first place make the efforts to attract people. isn't it like that? it is just like fishing. you put bait and the fishes that like the bait will come and eat the bait.you cant blame the fish for eating the bait because it is in their nature to be attracted to the bait. isn't it supposed to be like that? 

well to me, both sides can be right but not to the extreme for both of them. See in case of rape the rapists will always be guilty regardless of what reason and need to be punished. the punishment is not to marry the victim, that's just like getting a reward for raping a woman. but for the woman side, is it okay for them to wear whatever they want and will never be at fault? see im not saying the woman is guilty because the offender is always the guilty one but are they at fault? that's why religion always teach woman to wear modestly and cover your body. behave properly and not like a slut. 

the problem with this teaching is that people always bring them to the extreme or twist it which makes wrong things to be right and so some people will definitely reject this teaching completely. in the end, one side will use this teaching to accuse that the girl is at fault and the man is not wrong and the other side will say this teaching is oppressive to women. i believe the teaching is not oppressive at all as it is about prevention. we all know prevention is better than cure and i'm very sure no religion condone to the act like sexual harassment or raping. what do we do in order to avoid sexual harassment? we educate people on morality, to control our behaviour but is it fair to only stress on men while women is allowed to do everything they want since they're the victim? absolutely no. some will say that if men don't rape or harass everything will be solved. yes, we wont be having any problem at all if men don't do this kind of bad things but it is not so simple like that. our world does not consist of only 1 and 0. we have spectrum of everything. the good, the bad, and the ugly. there will never be totally good people in this world and there will never be totally bad people in this world. accept it and move on. so yeah, solving social issues always require both parties to cooperate and make efforts in avoiding and reducing the problem to the minimum but we can never reduce it to zero. there will always be bad people in this world.

for man, their job is to stop the problem. you always have to control your behaviour and lust. avert your gaze, resist the temptations and seductions. you can never expect woman to wear modestly and behave properly all the time. people always varies. there will be women that will wear seductively and behave like they're inviting you but always control your behaviour. it is the men's responsibility to not do these bad things and you will always be the guilty one in this issue. regardless of what reason, being the offender will always land you to be guilty and you cant argue with this. so you see men have a really heavy responsibility in tackling these issues.

for woman, their job is to avoid the problem.even though the teachings for men exist to stop all these issues but again, people always varies and there will always be spectrum of good and bad people. you can never expect people to always be good. so women's job is just to avoid the problem as best as they can. wear modestly so as not to attract people around you. if you want to show off your body show off only to people that deserve it be it your partner or husband. behave appropriately as not to attract bad people to you. 

see i believe that men has a bigger responsibility as they're the one that is needed to stop the problem. on the other hand, women only need to avoid the problem and bears no responsibility in stopping the problem but it comes with a cost of being the victim. women's responsibility is only to avoid and not to be the cause of the problem. well not to say the cause but more like the factors that supports the problems. Again, there will always be spectrum of people in this world and not all people will be good, so any arguments that says women do not have to avoid if men can stop the problem is invalid. 

To me, when religion teaches women to wear modestly it is not oppression to the women, it is the teaching for the women counterpart in order to avoid and reduce these problems. the oppression part is when people only emphasize on women side leaving the men side and vice versa. so you see, both extreme of the sides are not being fair to the opposite gender in order to handle these issues. 

in conclusion, raping, sexual harrassment, or being pervert will always be guilty, but in order to reduce the problem, both parties have to take measures to stop and avoid the problem and not to be the pillars that supports the problem. social issues is never a one party job. they always requires teamwork from all parties to handle these issues.

this link is an example to what im saying. just a link to a video n instagram. watch it and think 

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