dream a little dream of me

though i also like doris day's version

no more online game....for now

goodbye dota goodbye left for dead. thou has been good entertainment for me but alas we need to be apart. 

no i dont stop playing online games because i grow up and become 'mature' or because im moving on but i stopped playing because of the slow internet connection im having in my area. any delay or lag will definitely ruin the game especially for teamwork based game. another reason is because im living with my parents. the older generation dont understand that one does not simply pause an online game. and they only have negative view on things like games. everytime i play game in front of my father he will say jangan main game banyak sangat even when im playing only twice a week. so yeah these 2 factors are big enough to stop me from playing online game. i dont mind losing games but when i have to abandon game which makes me no different than those ragequitter, that is bad. i only abandon game like 2 or 3 times during my whole few years in ireland and those were due to internet or electric disruption but when i come back to malaysia within few months i get sent to low priority as penalty for abandoning game for few times. those abandons are mostly due to internet being not stable and my parents impeccable timing to call me for reasons that took more than 10 minutes.

now i mostly play offline games or even if its online its fine for me to leave the game anytime i want. the only online game i play now is digimon master online, a mmorpg. since i play that game alone without involving other players, leaving the game anytime is fine for me the worst it can be is just my character dying from being attacked by monster and respawn back to the nearest town. might lose item or money but thats not a problem at all. internet putus? just sambung some other time then. 

maybe one day when i have a good stable internet and live on my own i will start playing online game back but for now buhbye. 

oh yeah back in ireland i tried  streaming but never in malaysia since my upload speed is only 0.2mbps. no chance to do any streaming. 

The gamer

for those that enjoy manhwa the title should be familiar. it's a korean comic about an mmorpg(massive multiplayer role playing game) addict guy that gained the ability like an mmo character in real life. what a sweet thing. maybe only those that enjoy rpg understand this. i also enjoy these kind of games as it lets you explore and discover a different world while at the same time building your character to survive and complete the missions in the game. i remember i used to go for adventures during my primary school time like playing at the jkr storage site. the area is filled with tong drums and left with overgrown semak. so i go walking around the semak climbing the drums just like having adventure. looking back right now it is just a small place with nothing except drums and semak. anyway, im not that fortunate to be able to play games as much as i like. normal people see me like a gamer because i play game but the fact that the number of games ive played can be counted with hands and for someone that says he likes rpg based game to never play any of the final fantasy game... he's just a wannabe gamer. well, at least thats how i think those hardcore gamers look at me. its not easy to play game when people around have a negative view of games especially your parents. i ended up making my own board rpg game using the buku petak-petak during my primary school and i became the game master. didnt know these things exist in real life at that time until years later when i get into college and university. lol what a feat.

anyway, the bad thing about rpg game is that it requires a lot of time to play the game because youre like living in an alternate life virtually and that can lead to abandoning your real life. so what i do is i usually play my own games in real life that only i know and it is inside my head. taking life is a game literally. as such i cant deny that the real life is just like one big massive mmorpg which people from different races grow up and build their character in this world. the differences is the end of the character because we are free to do whatever we want in this world. you can be a good person or you can be a bad person you can go on adventures or you can settle down at a place and become a merchant or work to produce things or you can just be a trash character that simply exist to exist not to do anything bidding time and go offline silently too. it's all up to us.  i look at the continents like different servers and stuffs like religions are like guilds where people get connected and each of them has their own rules that one has to follow. our occupation would be our class. all the errands would be like the quests as we have to grind to increase our stats to meet the requirement to go to the next level such as entering university or changing class from a student into something else like doctors or engineers. this mmo called life is so vast and free that lots of people see it as too hard and boring because you have to set your own goal and make your own storyline whereas in the game the storyline are mostly set and we just have to explore to unlock and follow the storyline. if only we can set our own goal in life then we can work to acieve the goal and at the same time enjoy what life gives to us.

so, what do you want in your life?